Tuesday, August 24, 2004
today started out as a TOTALLY depressing day. i only wished i didn't have to think about it. the tests, the rest of the shit. went for dental and it was quite shitty. and felt like crap after that. one thing i looked forward to was going out with lijunners. yupp bio just totally sucked. i wanted to sleep throughout the test. but whatever i didn't. probably going to fail anyway.

went out with lijunners. feeling wuite bad not staying back to do the ranking thing./ sigh but i already planned things. and i bought claire and shar pervert's presents. i dunno what else to buy for shar eh. i bought something cute . was feeling quite depressed and me and lijun couldn't decide what to eat for lunch. she ate creamy chicken and i ate lasagne. hmmms her creamy chicken was totally CREAMY . i ate two strips and i felt like puking and she managed to eat half of it. *claps claps.

left my wallet on the bus today. what an idiot. how even more depressing. then i had to go all the way to outram park near lijun's house to collect it. yupp. at least i got it back. then i just called the woman who picked my wallet to thank her. hah she sounded really nice ! yay i think nice and honest people just make singapore such a nice place to live in . and horrible rollie pollie eyeball freakin shits should just go away.

dammit. life is starting to get sick and boring ! i really never thought i'd get sick of life. living life is the best thing in the world. and i used to think friends were the most important stuff. well friends nowadays are highly unlike what i used to think they were. but all the friends i took for granted for a long time are still there for me . i treasure all of them now .

tomorrow gonna key in all the CCA records. aargh . can play with nanthini again ! whee. can go visit other people's blogs !! yay

shoE ||| 9:20 PM

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Friday, August 20, 2004
whee. i'm a very happy girl today. and i will continue to be for the next hour or so till it becomes tomorrow. we did a really fantastic thing today. i'm not supposed to tell anyone else. so shhh...

watched ronald susilo's match that day. the thai was real good with his back hand stunts and falling all over the place. susilo was quite stinky but three thumbs up for the effort don't u agree.

and i watched li jiawei's match today with that china girl. wow. so pro ! maybe if she gets a GOLD for singapore , ronald and her can buy a new house, car and new pets and maids and stuff. haha

tomorrow we can go and admire our beautiful work of art and touch up on it. maybe by next week we can hang it up. *sheesh. hope no one got that great big hint. have tuition tomorrow. hahx. hope samuel comes so that we can make fun of chunlei again *oops.

i should work to become a more polite person ! yupp and mrs tan's back. so much better than *ahem. yupp hope she feels tonnes better . listening to i believe now. and yes i believe we will get GOLD next year ! i must believe .

shoE ||| 11:12 PM

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Wednesday, August 18, 2004
sigh. i think i make a damn bad leader. actually i wouldn't mind getting stripped of my post and let someone else do it. darn*

and the comments are just bloodyfuck you damn.. like its not hard enough admitting to myself i made a mistake. u just have to rub it in and pull everyone into it. its my fault lar ok HAPPY ?? i really get so pissed at you. it was a bad idea to give u a chance. it was a bad idea to try to give u some responsibilities and all the more it was a bad idea even trying to think u were my friend. because you're just biased and freaked. and i don't trust u anymore.

everyone else at least understands a bit. everyone makes mistakes once in a while. one day when u make a BIG BOMBASTIC JI BA BOOM mistake, i will laugh at you till u roll on the floor

and for those who love to roll their eye balls. just continue rolling them ok.. because i don't really care about you anymore. i have other people to turn to now. i don't have to look at your dirty face. why don't u just roll them real quickly till they roll out of your sockets, onto the floor and till u can't find them anymore. muah haha. i sound really violent and scary but thats what i'm feeling now. i feel like killing a bunny . hahas . >-<

shoE ||| 9:17 PM

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Saturday, August 14, 2004
there are no eternal friends, only common interest. thanks to all my friends who have brought color into the times i felt everything had gone into black and white. i never know when i might lose more of them, i never know when they'll backstab me. i also never know if they'll hate me for nothing. i just feel like thanking everyone for ever having been there. u helped me hold back the tears i ever felt like shedding when i felt hopeless and useless. i KNOW i'm not. and i'm not afraid of ANYTHING. i guess when u believe in your true friends, they'll bring wonders into your life



shoE ||| 12:25 AM

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i never knew things wouldn't turn out as i expected. i always thought that friendships lasted a lifetime. no matter through rain or shine, we'd always be together. like CLOUDS. whether or not it rained they are still in the sky. i guess its true when they say there are no eternal friends, only common interest.

i wanna take off people's masks. they say one thing, they do another and the cycle repeats itself. over and over like the water cycle. never ending, a life long process. i find myself walking aimlessly down corridoors, through doors, and passing people by. i don't feel like saying hi. i don't feel like saying anything at all. i just want to pretend you don't exist, that you are just part of a dream, and you will disappear when i wake up. the hurt. the pain i feel whenever you make me feel hurt. you don't even have to say anything, i feel it inside, like a silent msg u pass to me through unnoticeable waves that flow from you to me. why can't things go back to the way it was before ?

today we learnt to be more resilient, and it somehow connected with me, everything the woman said. sometimes i can't help it but cry, i feel everything has changed too quickly, too drastically. i was forced to change. forced to step out of who i was and become someone quite different although i was still the same. i changed from the noisy senseless me to someone who had to be responsible. it isn't easy, having to keep nothing from going wrong, making decisions sacrificing stuff i loved. yet it hurts when you all don't understand it actually isn't that glamorous being me after all.

if i could, i'd put a padlock on time and never let things change again, i'd make things remain as they were before. i'd understand . i'd make sense of everyone's nonsense. i'd understand why they do the things they do.

say i'm naive say i'm nice. say whatever u like. i don't hate any of you. but there's that stinging feeling down somewhere in there that tells me i can't make it through any of this. i must pull through. i must. and i will no matter what u say.

nothing ever went smoothly in this life. i know other people face problems too. yupp i'm not alone and i'm not the only one suffering in silence. they are just like me, keeping the pain hidden behind smiles and laughter. hiding from the world and ensuring no one finds out the stab we've endured.

the world may be unfair but at least GOD isn't blind, he blessed me with friends who care. who have faith in me. these people brought me all the courage i need. they brightened my life and made it a more exciting place to live in.

shoE ||| 12:09 AM

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Wednesday, August 11, 2004
oh man. haven't come online in a long time. singapore idol is totally hilarious. wow pam got this new watch for her birthday. the face is really nice like there are waves and all but i think it would look nicer if the strap was thicker. anyway.... been feeling quite stressed lately and i don't know why. sigh* things just never turn out the way i want them to.

i'm free saturday ! so chunlei ! we must go out !! whoo... and u can ask samuel to join us if u like. lolx contact me k if u see this

shoE ||| 9:01 PM

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Thursday, August 05, 2004
whee. i'm so excited about tomorrow . and there's spirited away later. i wanna watch. today anna lijun sindhu and i were pon-ning jogging. but me and lijun felt kinda guilty and we didn't wanna get tattle-taled on by our classmates s0 we went to jog the rest of the round lar. dumb right. i should be a good role model anyway. i'm never ever pon-ning again. and the fanatics saw me. haha

oh hoh. i got 21 for oral. what a miracle. and yu lao shi was announcing the chinese test marks. waah i got 55/60. dunno if i was dreaming or something. hahas . and erisca got 52 . whee

i'm so jealous lijun and erisca have tamagotchi !! who is gonna buy me ONE !! haha.

erisca has a dirty mind ! keep polluting us today on the way out of school. she seems so sweet and innocent in class. always have mags for us to read and sweets and stuff. but i never knew her mind was corrupted. she made my mind dirty today .

shoE ||| 11:20 PM

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Monday, August 02, 2004
wow! did so many quizzes. going crazy !

tsk* i wanna be popam too. hahas. i just invented that. hoho should i go that SJI thing ? i don't even know whats going on. shall ask el to come my house and pig out with us first then decide whether or not to go meet her wenning. lolx shall ask her more tomorrow and pester her bout that weiloong ! hahas

shoE ||| 10:52 PM

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Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the
clouds."


What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla



shoE ||| 10:52 PM

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Punk! My kind of friend. You could care less what
other ppl think of you. You want friends who
like you for who you are and not what you have.
I mean, sure, sometimes you stick fries up your
nose, but thats ok. People love you because you
crack them up immensly! Your amoung friends!


Are you one of the three P's? (Punk/Prep/Poser)?
brought to you by Quizilla



shoE ||| 10:44 PM

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You're addicted to.....

Crack!
People addicted to crack tend to be a little more
hyper then everyone else, not to mention broke
too. But once your addicted to it, its hard to
stop!


What are you addicted to? (pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla




shoE ||| 10:33 PM

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-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



shoE ||| 10:32 PM

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Congradulations! you are going to marry freddie
prinze jr.!! Hes cute, loyal, funny, sweet...
what more could you ask for?


Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (14 choices now!!)
brought to you by Quizilla



shoE ||| 10:28 PM

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hoho i feel damn evil. i should go and cleanse my soul later. wash away all those sins but i can't tell anyone what bad stuff i did. no it shall remain a secret with me and the other leaders. anyway. i seriously think i have a bad personality. *tsk.

went to the kingswear place today to order band shirts. whoo ! we are officially like gonna change them to polo shirts but almost the same designs. cos she doesn't have any more stock for the colors we want and the rest are kind of *gross. its just real exciting !! i can't wait to inform them on wednesday. yupp we're gonna INFORM the teachers not ask them for permission . basically, we have no choice but to do so because there IS no choice in the first place. have chinese test tomorrow and i already finished studying for it yesterday !! yesterday !! yesterday ok !!

yupp gonna go eat my FISHBALLS Now !! yay.

shoE ||| 7:48 PM

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Sunday, August 01, 2004

Goof Off - Your ideal guy is the silly and wacky
goof off. He's simply adorable in everything he
does, wether it be cheesy pranks, stupid jokes,
or just smiling. He holds an innocent and naive
outlook on life.
Turn ons: He's always upbeat so you'll never have
to pick up the broken pieces of his heart.
Turn offs: He doesn't know when to turn OFF the
funny and can embarrass you or not understand
when you need to seriously talk.


What is your ideal type of guy? (With Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla



shoE ||| 11:28 PM

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oh i remember what i wanna blog about ! i was gonna say that diana's song is so so so nice. i can't think of the word i was gonna use. yah was hearing the repeat of the top 20 countdown just now. yah i was listening out for DREAMS ok. tsk and it wasn't on the chart. pathetic*

yah i really think i'm very lucky yet i take everything around me for granted. i take my parents for granted. i take my belongings for granted. there are so many cases of sad kids out there. people's parents getting a divorce, getting abused. peer pressure till they smoke, take drugs and stuff. i'm fortunate to be with good friends who don't do stupid things that ruin their life. and my parents are great and my sis loves me a lot. so i should count my blessing every morning that i was given the chance to WAKE Up !

shoE ||| 11:14 PM

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whee. i added the songs part. studied my chinese today and the test is on tuesday ! pro right . anyway .. went to taka just now. wheex. was quite funny cos i was with my dad and mum. anyway ...

i wanna join ACS .. hehx. and tomorrow we shall continue with our gossips and planning "what to talk back" as quoted from some people .. haha. i'm evil but anyway. stupid tagboard has problem. hope it comes back soon. cos nicholas's tagboard also has prob. their whole page thing is just down lar. i don't wanna use that other one. .looks spastic. at least with tagboard i can choose the colors. hmmm. sucks. and there's this person what LOW wanna make friends with me on friendster. maybe i should change my picture. so many people wanting to be friends.

sigh why other people so popular ah. i'm like totally jealous. its quite unfair right. i can be pretty too !! yah and i think that FandS johnathon joined a.maths class. what he came out in seventeen. naah he looks the same as last time lar. totally not him in the mag.

i think people should not be so hypocritical. and why do some people like to pretend they like you when they 100% do not. i'm not that dumb so don't take me for a fool cos i take three sciences and thats mind boggling enuff. i don't need people wasting my time playing mind games. i'm smart enough to figure out that it was samuel's friend who was msg-ing me .. just sucks lar. the way everyone else is so niao' and is so fake i'll take off your mask and wipe away your makeup to show the rest of the world what a bitch you are.

blog and the world blogs with you. don't be such a bunch of sour grapes lar. cos we all really really wish u won't become anything. that you will shrink into an ant and i can squish you. hmms.

be popular. see if i care. what ever lar. i just wanna be who i wanna be whether u like it or not. co stop being so cynical and just live life

whoo. pearl and wanling are coming to pig out on friday. maybe we'll rent a VCD and just slack around. i'm so going to force them to wear red and white to my house. muah haha ! then we can sing national day songs too. lolx

shoE ||| 10:49 PM

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yeah did lots of updates to my blog. gonna include a family tree soon ! yeah .. hahas . anyway this is fun and its so late already ! i better go sleep have golf prac at 9 tomorrow in sentosa ! so exciting .. i can't wait to do my family tree. but i have to study ! aargh have chinese test on tuesday and have to do the cip stuff by wednesday and have emaths and chem common test on wednesday too. eekx.



shoE ||| 1:11 AM

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